If you have spent years working on yourself and still find that certain patterns keep repeating — particularly in close relationships — you are not alone.
For many people, the difficulties that bring them to therapy are not rooted in a single overwhelming event. They are rooted in something more subtle: the way their earliest relationships shaped how they see themselves, how safe they feel with others, and what they have come to expect from the people they love.
Attachment-focused EMDR was developed to work with exactly this kind of material.
This article explains what attachment-focused EMDR is, how it differs from standard EMDR, what you can expect from the process, and what the evidence says. It is written for people who are curious about whether this approach might be relevant to them — not for clinicians.
What is attachment-focused EMDR?
Attachment-focused EMDR is an adaptation of Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy developed to work with relational and developmental trauma — the kind that grows out of early childhood relationships rather than a single identifiable event.
It uses the same core tools as standard EMDR, including bilateral stimulation (such as guided eye movements or alternating taps) and the eight-phase protocol. What differs is the emphasis. Attachment-focused EMDR places particular weight on safety, the therapeutic relationship, and thorough preparation before any processing of difficult memories begins.
The approach was developed by American clinician and trainer Dr Laurel Parnell, whose foundational text Attachment-Focused EMDR: Healing Relational Trauma (W. W. Norton, 2013) set out the framework now used by clinicians internationally. A related approach, sometimes called attachment-informed EMDR, was developed in the United Kingdom by Mark Brayne and colleagues, and builds on Parnell’s work with additional emphasis on resourcing. The two approaches share most of the same clinical ground, and the terms are sometimes used interchangeably.
Attachment-focused EMDR is not a separate therapy from EMDR. It is a refinement of how the existing protocol is delivered when the person’s difficulties are primarily relational.
Why attachment matters for trauma therapy
Attachment theory was developed by British psychiatrist John Bowlby in the mid-twentieth century. Its core insight is that human beings are wired to seek connection with caregivers for safety, comfort, and survival. When that connection is reasonably consistent and attuned, a child develops what Bowlby called a secure base — an internal sense of safety from which to explore the world and relationships.
When connection is inconsistent, frightening, neglectful, or simply not there, the child’s developing nervous system adapts in ways that prioritise survival. Those adaptations can serve a child well in a difficult environment. But they often persist into adulthood in ways that create real difficulties — in relationships, in self-worth, and in the body itself.
Importantly, attachment trauma is not always about overt abuse. As Robert Solomon notes in a 2025 paper in Clinical Neuropsychiatry, attachment trauma can arise from “the failures of caregivers in meeting the needs of the child” — including what did not happen, such as emotional attunement, comfort, or consistent availability.
For many people, this history shows up not as a clear memory but as patterns: difficulty trusting others, chronic anxiety in close relationships, emotional shutdown, a sense of being fundamentally unlovable, or a nervous system that never quite settles. These patterns can persist across decades and may not fully respond to therapies focused on single-incident trauma or cognition alone.
This is the territory that attachment-focused EMDR was developed to work with.
How it differs from standard EMDR
Standard EMDR follows an eight-phase protocol developed by Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s. You can read more about the standard approach in our complete guide to EMDR therapy and our overview of what to expect in an EMDR session.
Attachment-focused EMDR keeps this eight-phase structure but adapts how each phase is delivered. The changes reflect the reality that people with relational and developmental trauma often need more time, more relational safety, and more internal resourcing before processing difficult material is appropriate.
The main shifts are these.
More time on history and relationship patterns. The early sessions go deeper into relational history — not to retraumatise, but to understand the attachment themes that will guide the work.
Extended preparation using internal resources. Parnell’s approach uses a practice she calls Resource Tapping, which involves building four foundational internal resources using bilateral stimulation: a nurturing figure, a protective figure, a wise figure, and a sense of inner strength. These are not literal memories. They are imaginal figures — drawn from imagination, life experience, spiritual traditions, or even fictional characters — whatever feels genuinely supportive. For people whose early environments offered little safety, building these internal figures can be something entirely new.
Gentler pacing when processing begins. Rather than moving directly to the most distressing memories, the therapist works gradually, checking in regularly and returning to resources whenever needed. The aim is to keep you within what is sometimes called your window of tolerance — the zone in which processing is possible without becoming overwhelming.
Deliberate attention to how sessions end. Each session closes with attention to bringing you back to a settled, regulated state — often using the installed resources. This matters especially for people whose early relationships offered little in the way of co-regulation.
The therapeutic relationship as part of the healing. Across all of this, the relationship with the therapist is understood not just as a backdrop to the technical work but as part of the healing itself. For people whose early relationships were sources of harm or absence, the experience of being met by an attuned, regulated, non-judgmental other can be genuinely reparative.
The nervous system connection
One of the reasons attachment-focused EMDR resonates with many clients is that it works directly with the body and the autonomic nervous system.
This connection is clearest when viewed through the lens of polyvagal theory, developed by Dr Stephen Porges. Polyvagal theory describes how the nervous system moves between states of safety and social engagement, mobilisation, and shutdown — and how these states are shaped by our sense of safety in our environment and relationships.
For people with attachment trauma, the nervous system may have been calibrated, early in life, toward chronic activation or chronic shutdown. The extended resourcing phase of attachment-focused EMDR can be understood, from this perspective, as building the capacity for regulation. The therapist’s own regulated presence provides co-regulation. The installed internal resources give the nervous system an experience of safety it may not have had before. Processing of difficult material only begins once that foundation is reliable enough — and even then, regular returns to the resources help maintain stability.
For people interested in supporting their nervous system between sessions, we have a separate article on polyvagal exercises.
What to expect
While every therapist and every client are different, attachment-focused EMDR tends to have a few recognisable features.
Sessions are typically 60 to 90 minutes. The first several sessions — sometimes many sessions — focus on understanding your history, building the therapeutic relationship, and developing the internal resources described above. This preparation phase can take weeks or months. That pacing is intentional. Moving into difficult material before the nervous system is ready tends to overwhelm rather than heal.
When processing does begin, bilateral stimulation is delivered through whichever method suits you best — guided eye movements, alternating taps to the knees or shoulders, or auditory tones. During processing, you are asked to notice whatever comes up — thoughts, images, body sensations, emotions — while the bilateral stimulation continues. The therapist pauses regularly to check in. Sessions end with deliberate attention to closure.
Total length of therapy varies considerably. For more contained concerns it may be relatively brief. For complex attachment trauma with multiple layers of relational injury, therapy may extend over many months. This is consistent with what research suggests about complex trauma treatment generally.
One thing worth knowing: attachment-focused EMDR does not require you to narrate your childhood in detail. Much of the work happens through experiential channels — imagery, sensation, emotion — rather than verbal recounting. You are never asked to share more than you choose to share.
What the evidence says
EMDR therapy as a whole has a well-established evidence base for post-traumatic stress disorder. The Australian Guidelines for the Prevention and Treatment of Acute Stress Disorder, PTSD and Complex PTSD, developed by Phoenix Australia and approved by the National Health and Medical Research Council in 2020, recommend EMDR as a first-line treatment for adults with PTSD. These guidelines are endorsed by the Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists, the Royal Australian College of General Practitioners, and the Australian Psychological Society.
The evidence base for attachment-focused adaptations of EMDR specifically is smaller and more recent, and should be read with that context in mind.
A 2023 pilot study in the Journal of EMDR Practice and Research by Barazzone and colleagues examined whether EMDR therapy was associated with changes in adult attachment security. Eighteen participants received an average of fifteen EMDR sessions. The study reported a decrease in attachment insecurity, partly associated with the quality of the therapeutic alliance and changes in symptomatology. With a small sample and no control group, these findings are preliminary — but they are consistent with what many clinicians working in this space observe in practice.
A 2018 case series by Wesselmann and colleagues examined an integrative attachment trauma protocol for children across 22 cases and reported improvements in traumatic stress symptoms, behaviour, and attachment relationships. Case-series evidence sits lower in the research hierarchy, but it adds to a developing body of work.
A fair summary: attachment-focused EMDR rests on a strong foundation — standard EMDR is well evidenced for PTSD — while the specific adaptations for attachment trauma have a smaller and still-developing evidence base. Many clinicians who work with complex and developmental trauma find these adaptations clinically valuable, and research continues.
Is this approach right for me?
This is best explored with a qualified clinician, but some general patterns suggest attachment-focused EMDR may be worth considering.
It may be relevant if you experience persistent difficulty in close relationships, a sense of being fundamentally unsafe or unlovable, anxiety or emotional shutdown in connection with others, emotional responses that feel disproportionate to current circumstances, a history of childhood neglect or emotionally inattentive caregiving, complex or developmental trauma, or intergenerational trauma patterns.
Some situations call for stabilisation work before attachment-focused EMDR is appropriate. These can include active and severe dissociation, current unsafe living circumstances, significant difficulty tolerating emotional arousal, active substance dependence, or untreated severe mental illness. None of these permanently rule out attachment-focused EMDR, but they often mean that other foundational work needs to come first. A skilled practitioner will assess this collaboratively with you.
Like all therapies, attachment-focused EMDR works for some people and not others. Some find that the work shifts something quite profoundly. Others find it helpful alongside other approaches. Others find a different modality fits better. None of these outcomes is a failure.
Finding a practitioner in Australia
EMDR practitioners in Australia are accredited through the EMDR Association of Australia (EMDRAA), which maintains a Find a Therapist directory. Practitioners working specifically with attachment-focused or attachment-informed EMDR have typically undertaken additional training beyond their initial EMDR qualification — often through the Parnell Institute or Brayne’s EMDR Focus program.
Psychologists in Australia are registered with the Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency (AHPRA) under the oversight of the Psychology Board of Australia. You can verify any psychologist’s registration through the AHPRA website.
If you have a referral from your GP under a Mental Health Treatment Plan, you may be eligible for subsidised sessions through Medicare Better Access. According to Services Australia, a Mental Health Treatment Plan provides access to up to 10 individual sessions with an eligible mental health professional each calendar year.
When meeting with a prospective therapist, useful questions include: their EMDR training and accreditation level, their experience with complex and attachment trauma specifically, whether they have undertaken attachment-focused or attachment-informed EMDR training, and how they approach pacing for clients with developmental trauma.
Frequently asked questions
Is attachment-focused EMDR the same as standard EMDR?
It uses the same eight-phase protocol and the same core tools. What differs is the emphasis — on safety, the therapeutic relationship, extended resourcing, and gentler pacing when working with relational and developmental trauma. It is best understood as a refinement of EMDR rather than a separate therapy.
Can EMDR therapy change my attachment style?
Research in this area is still developing. A 2023 pilot study by Barazzone and colleagues observed a decrease in attachment insecurity in 18 participants following EMDR therapy, but as a small uncontrolled study these findings are preliminary. What seems clearer from clinical experience is that aspects of attachment-related distress — the anxiety, the shutdown, the deep sense of unsafety — can shift meaningfully over time.
How long does it take?
This varies considerably. For more contained concerns, work may be completed in a few months. For complex attachment trauma, particularly where there are multiple layers of relational injury, therapy may extend over a year or longer. The preparation phase alone can take many weeks. Pacing is always collaborative and responsive to what your nervous system can tolerate.
Will I have to talk about my childhood in detail?
Not necessarily. While the therapist will want to understand your relational history at a broad level early in the work, attachment-focused EMDR does not require detailed verbal narration of childhood events. Much of the work proceeds through imagery, sensation, and emotion. You are not asked to share more than you choose to share.
Is it safe for complex trauma?
When delivered by a suitably trained practitioner, yes. Attachment-focused EMDR was specifically developed with complex and developmental trauma in mind. The extended preparation, focus on safety, and careful pacing are intended to make EMDR more accessible for people with complex presentations. Some situations call for additional stabilisation work first — best assessed collaboratively with a qualified clinician.
Can I claim Medicare rebates?
If you have a Mental Health Treatment Plan from your GP and you see a Medicare-eligible psychologist or registered mental health professional, you can claim Medicare rebates regardless of the specific therapeutic approach used. Attachment-focused EMDR delivered by a registered psychologist falls within Better Access eligibility.
How do I find a practitioner in Australia?
The EMDRAA Find a Therapist directory is a good starting point. Look for practitioners who specifically mention training in attachment-focused or attachment-informed EMDR. Verify any psychologist’s registration through the AHPRA register.
If you need support now
- Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14 (24-hour crisis support)
- Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636
- 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 (sexual assault and domestic violence)
- SANE Australia: 1800 187 263 (complex mental health)
- 13YARN: 13 92 76 (culturally safe support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
Closing thoughts
Attachment-focused EMDR is one of several approaches developed to work with the deep, relational, often early-developing wounds that many people carry. It is not a quick fix, and it is not the only good path. What it offers is a way of bringing the well-established tools of EMDR into careful contact with the more delicate territory of attachment and relational trauma.
The work of healing attachment wounds tends to unfold gradually, in the context of a safe relationship, and with patience for what the nervous system needs. If something in this article resonated with your own experience, that may be worth exploring further with a qualified mental health professional.
This article is intended for educational purposes and does not constitute medical or psychological advice. If you are experiencing mental health difficulties, please consult a qualified health professional.